The Hidden Cost of Ignored Pain

Read time: 3 minutes

The reason I teach people to drop into their pain is because when pain lingers in the background of our lives, it quietly undermines our capacity to get things done.

When we’re caught in the grip of fear, anger, sadness, or hurt—even in subtle ways—it blocks the flow of hope and positivity. And without that flow, resilience becomes nearly impossible in a world that asks so much of us.

Hope and positivity are not luxuries; they’re required to perform, create, and simply move through daily life. Without them, we cut ourselves off from the natural, abundant energy we already possess. Instead, we become slaves to our to-do lists, trapped in fear—fear of our own pain, and fear amplified by the larger anxieties of society. It can leave us caught in a dark spiral where nothing feels worth doing.

When pain dominates in the background, its effects seep into every corner of our lives. We numb ourselves through constant scrolling, addicted to our phones. We grow unpresent in our closest relationships. We stop resting, creating, or enjoying our lives. Instead of focusing on goals that tie into a bigger picture, we get stuck firefighting—reacting only to whatever is in front of us. Life becomes a loop of survival, not one of meaning.

And it’s not just our personal history that fuels this cycle. We are also subject to the pain of the world around us—the violence, injustice, and uncertainty that fills our news feeds and conversations. These collective triggers awaken pain, which is why building resilience in the face of pain is so essential to navigating this world.

For years, I believed I had broken free from the weight of my childhood pain—the pain of poverty. I had cultivated enough self-awareness to move forward, to not be ruled entirely by the belief that I would always struggle to survive. But it wasn’t until I began working with my coach, James Woeber, that I realized how much pain was still buried deep inside me, quietly blocking the flow of energy and positivity and keeping me caught in my survival pattern in hard times.

Pain needs our presence. Pain needs our attention.

When we find the courage to face the pain within—a natural part of being human—we build the most essential muscle of all: resilience. We expand our capacity not only to hold our own pain but to bear witness to the pain of others without turning away. In that act of acknowledgment, we uncover the strength to take action for the betterment of the whole.

This morning I listened to this short podcast with Krista Tippett on this very topic. If you have 20 minutes, I highly recommend it.

And if you haven’t yet, take five minutes today to drop into your own pain using Groundwork’s guided recording. Facing pain doesn’t have to be treacherous—because on the other side is relief, energy, insight, and a richness more valuable than almost anything else.

As the podcast beautifully states: on the other side of pain is love. And in that love is the clarity, strength, and energy we need.